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He's still beside you! He has no plans to leave!
Many women (and men) are in abusive relationships of some nature. Some tire of being taken for granted and taken advantage of. Some tire of what seems to be the continual onslaught of mean, hateful, and spiteful words. Some live in constant fear of their husbands/wives and feel as if they're going to snap, at some point.
Granted, because of the above situations, many children grow up in homes where they are not free to be themselves. They are not free to explore even the simplest pleasures because of fear. They can't express a thought or feeling because they'll be reprimanded for it.
Some of these children hibernate as they grow older - draw inside of themselves so no one really knows what's going on, even their closest friends.
Other children become aggressive and abusive themselves - trying to stand up for themselves, or people they love; trying to fight against the one who has always been the abuser in the past.
Others will get into trouble with the law - seeking attention just so someone pays attention only to them for a change. Some feel it's a small price to pay to be noticed, even if there are negative consequences and criminal records involved!
Then you have the others who don't know how to react. They don't know where to turn, or whom to turn to. They don't want to become abusers themselves but the example set before them is a hard one to break.
It's so easy to lose control - just that one time- yet they fear it because they know it may change everything!
They realize they can never go back after giving in and experiencing that adrenaline rush. They won't forget the look of fear in a person's eyes during a major confrontation, nor the feeling of power that would rush forward afterwards, making them feel superior - so they remain a covered, boiling pot - simmering underneath the surface - about to blow!
This group learns to resent both parents after a while, casting blame for everything at their feet. Dad may have been the abuser, they think, but Mom was just as bad for putting up with him!
They don't often ponder why their mother put up with such nonsense from their father.
They weren't present the day their mother and father married, vowing to stay together, for better or worse.
They weren't present in the early days when Mom and Dad got along so well and were each other's best friend.
They didn't witness the joy upon their parents' faces when they learned a child would be born to them.
They were sheltered from knowledge of the bills piling up, while Mom and Dad tried to provide for their children, while the cost of living became higher and higher.
Instead, they noticed the tension setting in. Dad worked far too much while Mom felt left out. Mom would confront Dad about working far too much and not spending time with the kids, while Dad would counter that someone had to pay the bills.
They heard Mom crying and witnessed her tears while Dad dozed on the couch, or sat oblivious, too exhausted to care.
They witnessed the bitter exchanges that flared up from time to time, making both parents feel burdened and hurt, while they (the kids) felt powerless to change anything - not knowing what to do, but huddle into a corner, praying the next day would be a good one.
In some cases, bitter exchanges turned to pounding fists. In a few cases, Mom or Dad ended up in the hospital, where abuse was suspected but couldn't be proven.
In most cases, they (the kids) felt, "If I wasn't born, Mom and Dad might still love each other. This is all my fault."
Some kids run away, hoping to find a better life.
Some get involved with drinking and doing drugs, trying to forget everything for a while.
Others become prostitutes, hoping to survive on the streets while feeling they are loved and appreciated - and bring people pleasure, as opposed to pain.
Others join gangs, hoping to belong somewhere - hoping to feel cool.
Others decide enough is enough and decide suicide is their answer.
Others endure it feeling that, one day, they'll be on their own and won't need to live with the nonsense. It gives them a measure of hope.
However, the most successful people (whether children, teens, or adults) dealing with abuse, of any nature, are those who learn to forgive.
Forgive!
Powerful word, isn't it? Just hearing it sends chills up your spine.
Forgive!
It's a different word, isn't it?
Forgive!
It means not holding on to the pain people have caused you - letting it get washed away so it doesn't have the power to hurt you anymore.
Forgive!
It means not lashing out in anger at someone who has irritated you or made you angry. It means walking away until you're calm and can speak to the person rationally about what has upset you.
Forgive!
You lost your loved one and it hurts you deeply. God could have prevented it but He didn't. You're angry with God and with the world. Forgive. Allow God to fill your heart with peace and joy, instead of sorrow and unrest. Forgive! Trust God in everything. Trust His plan for your life. Trust that God has your best interests at heart like no other. Forgive! Trust that God feels pain when you're hurting. Trust that He walks beside you through every struggle you face; through every moment of loneliness.
Forgive!
You were born blind, deaf, or mute. You were born disabled or with a disability. God could have prevented it but He didn't. Forgive! You don't seem to get healed, physically, regardless of how much you pray. Forgive! God loves you just the way you are and created you as He did for a purpose! You are still created in God's image!
Forgive!
The hardest action to take, known to man, but offers deliverance unlike any other action man could perform!
It makes you feel better when you forgive someone else, even if they never forgive you for something you've done. When you forgive, you don't need to carry that weight on your shoulders anymore. The act of forgiving liberates you! It sets you free!
That's why God commands it. He doesn't want us to be in bondage, carrying shackles around. He doesn't want us to feel heavy-hearted and burdened.
He wants us to be free!
He knows it's difficult and He knows it's impossible for us to forgive, without His help - but He's standing near. He's waiting for you to ask for His help in this all-important task which will give you more liberty than you can ever imagine!
Imagine God forgiving us for sending His Son to the cross!
I think we can manage to forgive people who've hurt us for anything they've done, with God's help, don't you think?
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